Saturday, 17 January 2009

Filthy Fairy.


This was in the kitchen of our flat when I arrived. It's like they knew I was coming and I'd be filthy.....


Ok - so when i said small flat i meant it. I'm standing in the doorway taking this picture. It's hostel size. But it's clean and doesn't smell weird.

Southampton

What. The. Fuck.
This place is so far from what I was expecting I don't even really know what to say. I mean, I don't even know what I was expecting.... but it was a little more like Anne of Green Gables. It's really modern and cosmopolitan here. I mean, not in comparison to Toronto or Montreal - but compared to Windsor this place is like.... I dunno, super fabulous, ultra-modern Windsor. But it's weird - it's the perfect example of 21st century Europe. From my window I can see half of a castle and a brand new IKEA opening in February, which i'm sure, will be selling Swedish made castles for the centre of coffee tables.
The architecture is BEAUTIFUL - it ranges from medieval, to turn of the century, to modern, to HYPER modern (is that even a term? ..... I guess post-modern.... but that's not really correct either. I mean, cars can't fly or anything). There's literally castles dispersed throughout the city centre, which is where my residence is, and a crazy big still-standing medieval wall that you can walk along. I've been exploring the spaces and doing a LOT of walking - I'm going to be so thin- I LOVE it. The Titanic set sail from the city and the Mayflower stopped here or left from here or something like that.
It's funny - I thought America was on top of the consumption food chain.... but British people LOVE to shop. There's like 4 malls and a MILLION stores in the city centre... and people are shopping constantly. Keep in mind all the clothes are kind of fabulous and all i wanna do is buy skinny jeans and cool shoes, but ironically, whenever I talk to people I sense a little snubbery. I think they think I'm American and that's not so good ( don't I know it - I'M FROM WINDSOR - I hate when Americans throw up on my sidewalks, too). But at least they do it right - the malls are crazy big and nice and really modern.
I live next to an ASDA grocery store. It's owned by Wal-Mart which kind of sucks ass - BUT it's really cheap for food and the alcohol aisles are HUGE and the wine is cheap which doesn't suck ass at all.
One thing that I love is the climate.... well, not the rain. It rains a lot. I always feel damp and chilled but the temperature is like 10 degrees. the weather can change pretty dramatically. The sun could be bright and beautiful but 2 hours later it will be overcast. However, I'm from Canada. The weather here is like a March morning. Everytime I go out for a smoke I feel like I've just woken up on a spring day. The locals here are bundled up, complaining about how cold it is and i'm in walking shorts and a spring jacket. It's like -23 in Windsor right now. I'll take a little dampness anyday. In my head I'm laughing - these people have no idea what cold is..... but I thank cold winters for keeping my skin young looking. All that coldness just shocks the skin so it never sags or wrinkles.
Also, I love that there are TONS of parks and public spaces to walk in. Everything is really green and mossy and lots of really beautiful old churches nestled in some of the parks. Also, boys playing soccer in the afternoon is never a bad thing. Ever.
Right outside my residence is a street market/carnival/awesome food thing happening. I hope that happens every weekend. I bought a watch for 2 pounds.

It hasn't been all spanks and circuses, however. There are some things I'm still having a hard time with:

1) The volume people here talk. It's almost like they're yelling all the time. All secrets are told via megaphones.

2)Going from living in a really nice house to a student residence. Um - are you sure my room can't be bigger than a shoebox? I have taken pills bigger than my bed.

3)Room mates who don't introduce themselves but make themselves noticed by blaring gangster rap and then sing along - but in French. I kind of love that he can rap in French but Ludacris sings in english and when you rap along in french it kind of makes ears bleed.

4) The fact that when I talk everyone thinks I'm American. It has caused me to not talk at all. I literally haven't spoken to anyone but sales clerks here and there since Wedesnday, Jan.14th. I'm really looking forward to Emily, the student from university of Windsor, arriving. I need a hug, a conversation, and some sort of canadian pin for my jacket.

5)The student residence not having WIRELESS INTERNET! I'm on Ethernet... ETHERNET people. They also BLOCK Skype and MSN - I'm forced to use Web messenger. Like, I get it... there's a medeival wall here but is the school in the dark ages!!? Ha. I understand student safety might be a concern but It'd be really nice to use the future phone (skype) so i could see and hear some of my friends for free. Omg, that's probably why it's blocked - cause the government can't make money off people using the telephone. You have to pay to call local landlines, too - like 40 pence for 20 minutes to call a local or something. I still dunno how it works. Looks like the Oasis cafe up the street with wireless internet is going to be my favourite hangout. It's like they named the cafe after finding out the wireless situation on campus.

Anyways.... more to come and pics, too - I promise Carolina. Quit trippin' and climb off already :)

Friday, 16 January 2009

The town of Winchester

I've never really been one for dramatic sentiment (cork it anyone who's ever spoken to me for more than 5 minutes) but so far the cutest thing I've ever seen on earth (aside from my angelic nephew) is the British town of Winchester. H-oly S-hit. It is like stepping into some old British literature or some really bad (but beautifully shot and totally adorable) Hugh Grant film. Everything is lush and green, little houses all stuck together with moss growing on the roofs, a cute little stream/dam running through it. It's no wonder Bridget Jones had so much to write about in her damn diary.
It's a much welcome change of scenery from the gloomy and rainy London/Heathrow I just experienced and how gray the highway is that I'm traveling on to get to Southampton. I wonder what Southampton will be like? I swear to GOD - if there's some outdoor Shakespeare festival happening when I arrive I will just shit.

Ways To Successfully Navigate International Flights.

So I have successfully navigated my way through my first international flight. Not bad - Pearson airport is dead on Wednesday nights so it wasn't too busy. After going through customs (where the enforcer told me i had too much of a face wash and took it away) I was on my way to my terminal and in airport bar.
However, C'MON. 200 ml of anything is over the guidelines for what's allowed on flights. My bottle was 250 ml but nearly empty. Did she think I was going to go on a rampage and wash the face of everyone on the flight if she let "it slide" as she put it. Am I some pore nazi? Anyways, it was a really great face wash and I was upset (luckily I had a new bottle in my checked luggage). The girl at the x-ray machine or whatever they call it was sympathetic - apparently she uses the same wash. I told her she might as well keep it - but she got VERY serious and told me "that wasn't acceptable". I swear, border crossings are like humour vortexes. NOTHING is funny. Ever.
So ya, I get through customs no problems and head towards the terminal. But wait. HHHHHEEELLLLLIO airport bar. Don't mind if I do. Oh wait. $8.50 for a pint. If I wasn't so thirsty I'd have passed but I had one day left before my cell phone was suspended so I was going to make the most of it. 35$ dollars later I boarded the plane.
Now, I've never been one for racism. My good friend Sally can atest to this - Whatever. I'm Canadian so my next comment might be racist or whatever....BUT.... the man sitting next to me smelt so bad I was gagging in my seat. I had to figure out a way to get him to move. Farting and burping a lot and slyly smiling and apologizing for 'gas' was the best way.
So, once stinky McStinkerson was taken care of the flight was kind of great. Air Canada has little tv's built into every headrest so I watched an Inconvenient Truth while riding in an airplane dumping emissions high into the atmosphere. Here's some rules for surviving International flights:

1) Just because he's a hot dad doesn't mean he's not a dad. His baby will scream the whole way because ears pop. It's called Pressure. You'd think its head was exploding with all the noise it's making but it's just their ear popping. Regardless, hot dads are to be avoided.

2)Not just movies, Air Canada (i'm guessing) has deals with record labels - I could listen to entire albums. So, thank you Hercules & Love Affaair, Tina Turner's Greatest Hits, and Nina Simone's Greatest hits for making my flight that much sweeter.

3) Alcohol is free. no matter how bitchy the flight attendant gets because she thinks you're getting wasted. pay no attention. Order a wine and when another attendant walks by pretend you never got one and ask for another.

4) Also, they serve a meal. AAAAALLLLLLLWAYS get the chicken option. I did beef. Learn from my mistakes.

Well, without a hitch my flight landed and Heathrow blew my mind. SSSSOOOOOO big. I have to board a bus to Southampton. More to follow.